Let’s talk about unhealthy relationships, including the one we have with ourselves, and how it impacts our healing journey.
The true goal of a deeply intensive healing journey is to live a life that is authentic to us, and that becomes a lot easier to do when we are connected to the beautiful soul we are. Each of us was born with a unique personality and a view of the world around us. If we were lucky to be raised in a “normal” household with stable parents, we got to blossom into that personality we were born with.
For those of us raised in abnormal or traumatic households, we learned to shutter away our authentic selves to suit the environment and the people around us. As adults, it’s a scary thing to be ourselves again. It’s especially scary because when we rediscover ourselves, it often means clashing with people in our lives. As adults, especially adults committed to healing and living an authentic, happy, healthy life – you’ll have to learn an unfortunate truth at some point.
There will always be people that you’ll never be enough for. There will always be people that want to criticize you and keep you in a place that feels comfortable to them. Please read that again and take a few minutes to think about it.
No matter what you do in your life, and how you’re healing, there will always be people that you’ll never be enough for. That seems scary to a lot of people I know, but it’s a truly, remarkable gift that life is giving you. Why? Because when we’re committed to ourselves and living an authentic life, we get to fill that life with whatever and whomever we want.
How other people choose to be around you, especially during periods of change, will always say more about them than about you. Let that be the case. Too often, we expend energy trying to get other people on the same page as us, or we’re expending excess emotional energy trying to get people to understand us, to honor us.
Here’s the thing. Unhealthy people can only see so far through their own junk. If they can barely see themselves, how can they see and honor you? You have to see you to be you.
It is up to you to learn to honor yourself. It is up to you to be the person you want to be. It’s not always about going back either but learning to honor the strengths we’ve always had and pair them with how we’ve grown into our life so far.
You need to see you. You need to love you, to honor you.
The people that you should have in your life will be the ones that support you, that listen, love you, and that offer to help you achieve whatever it is you’re wanting. They’ll also be the ones changing, growing, and healing. As much as we love some people, it becomes very hard to maintain relationships when we keep healing and others stay the same.
This is why I encourage everyone’s focus on their healing journey to be about connecting to their own beautiful soul, and learning what an authentic life looks like to them.
More than anything, be the beautiful soul you are.
Live your life, for you. You deserve nothing less.